Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML
Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
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Top comments
TheComputerGuy96 16
Dump him after hiding laxatives in his food.
dudeitsdanny 10
Next time you blow him, bite on his balls and tell him you thought it'd be fun ;) Or get him worked up to have sex, then tell him you wanna stop there because you think it'll be more fun. Or some variation of revenge. Doesn't have to be sexual, my mind's just in that place right now.
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Comments (100)
milallen27 0
Dump the stupid idiot and find you a real man.....that is a bad joke to pull on anyone.
LovelyTokyo 0
His intentions were sweet.
chsdrill95 0
That's what I was trying to say! LOL! :)
chsdrill95 0
no its really not!!!!!!!!!
myselfami 1
...You mean ex-boyfriend right?
sbjc2004 0
Your boyfriend is a Dick!
hateevryone 15
that is not funny, especially at a time like this. you need to take a "dump" on him
ka8 0
Wow he's a keeper!
lncrow 2
Dump him!
Jf770 10
He was just covering up his mistake:3
newburton13 26
You can tell him dumping his ass was a joke also.