Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML
Today, my sister in law threatened to call CPS on me because I “starved” her children when they spent the night. I didn’t starve them. I made an actual home cooked meal instead of the microwaveable or fast food crap she constantly feeds them. They chose not to eat and threw tantrums instead. FML
Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Spanking. That is all.
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Good. Now your son has you on a leash.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
sandy19453 0
that is so funny
Scopium 0
The kid is really serious about his food, he's gettin it by any means necessary lol.
Midgecline 0
Well look at it this way. Your very intelligent son is capable and willing to call the police should a real emergancy ever occur.
hannahgirl11 0
I see you've taught ur child to be a bratty ass bitch
hannahgirl11 0
shacoria ur an idiot how do u know she hasn't been working her ass off to give the kid the stuff he needs for all u know the kid could be a spoiled brat with $5,000 wroth of stuff and because now she's a mother she's not allowed to eat sleep poo or anything? for once can the parent not be the bad guy for wanting a basic nesscety god
KayleighRenee 0
that little brat.
nick3600 22
LOL U FAIL @ TEACHING CHILDREN MANNERS
iiNanix3 0
Everyone that's calling the mom a bitch for not even giving him a snack needs to **** off. Either you guys haven't had to experience being a parent yet or are just plain selfish. And it's not the kid's fault either. He's young so he doesn't understand any of this like you guys obviously do not either. By reading, I'm going to assume that the kid's young and stop saying "if he's smart enough to figure out how to use a phone he's smart enough to figure out how to make a sandwich". Really? This is the 21st century. Try and keep up with the times.
B0nb0N09 12
No, it's the kids fault
sk8rchick97 0
hahahha!!
fuckkyeaaaalaura 12
ahahahaha that's funny :3