Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML
Today, my sister in law threatened to call CPS on me because I “starved” her children when they spent the night. I didn’t starve them. I made an actual home cooked meal instead of the microwaveable or fast food crap she constantly feeds them. They chose not to eat and threw tantrums instead. FML
Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Spanking. That is all.
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Good. Now your son has you on a leash.
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Comments (71)
BillClinton_fml 0
Welcome to the USA lulz
jojobeanz 0
u should of took him to Mickey ds lazy
lexa1love 16
What if she doesn't believe in feeding her children with that type of food?
evil_toad 0
smack the bitch
NadoLuardric 0
Smack him/her/it in the face with a fork so he has something to call the cops for
Rockey 3
What parent doesn't have snacks?
KikiThePug 0
Well... did you feed him?
mywinterprincess 3
whoa :O
Juju123187 2
I agree with spanking, for those kids that don't respond to other method and in situations where what they did was really naughty, like after calling the cops. Not a beating but a swift spank. I also think he could and should have waited for food. Most can understand at 5/6yrs that dinner time is
cgs_fml 0
id give him something to call the cops for little shit
LisaBanana 0
That's what you get for having a child, of course you're supposed to feed him! selfish motha fuckaa!
spykerspyder 0
If I had tried to pull something like this, I wouldn't be able to sit for a couple days.