Anonymous · 2 October 2024, 12:00 ·Newark, United States

Bad friend

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my friend. It wasn't until I got there that I realized I'd come on the wrong day. Her flight arrived yesterday, so that explains her radio silence for the past two days. I just thought she was in transit, but turns out she's pissed at me and wants me to pay for the Uber ride she had to take home from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 You deserved it 629

3 comments Share

Saw · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Creepypasta time

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030 You deserved it 2 728

82 comments Share

Mel · 1 October 2024, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States

Pink tax

Today, I got my period early. While traveling. For a funeral. I had to walk through two entire airport terminals to find a shop that had any period products, and the only option was an $18 box of tampons. Six tampons, to be precise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 109

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 29 September 2024, 00:00 ·United States

They all look the same to me

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 You deserved it 623

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Make it stop, please

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 508 You deserved it 138

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 24 September 2024, 06:00 ·United Kingdom

Wandering eye

Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 114

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 21 September 2024, 06:00 ·Sierra Vista, United States

Cute trick

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. As the cop approached my car, my cat appeared out of nowhere, seemingly jumping out of behind the passenger seat, ran up my arm, and sat on my shoulder with his eyes like satellite dishes. The officer was too busy laughing to give me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 170

4 comments Share

Chops · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Bystander

Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 379 You deserved it 4 538

28 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 September 2024, 14:00 ·Miami, United States

Targetted

Today, for the second time this year, my motorcycle has been stolen, with no hope of recovery. The thieves even tore out the GPS tracking unit I'd installed to prevent it happening again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467 You deserved it 75

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 14 September 2024, 22:00 ·Aarhus, Denmark

I'm coming!

Today, I was late for work so I ran to catch the bus. I made it. Unfortunately, the bus was actually out of service, and I just sprinted to a parked vehicle for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362 You deserved it 129

1 comment Share

Felicity · 11 September 2024, 09:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Not so sneaky

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of a cute guy sitting across from me on a train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just smirked at me, clearly aware of what had just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 You deserved it 731

3 comments Share

GregIsGreg · 10 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Vent away

Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 526

1 comment Share

suspiciouspeople · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

What we do in the shadows

Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8 to 9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 970 You deserved it 5 366

70 comments Share

Anonymous · 2 September 2024, 22:00 ·Portland, United States

Don't know, don't care

Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 99

2 comments Share

The song is "Wave of Mutilation" by Pixies. Love the song, hate myself. · 29 August 2024, 12:00

Cease to resist, giving my goodbye

Today, it was my last vacation day in Hawaii. It was lovely, I was happy. Then I heard a certain song about suicide at the airport, which triggered a severe depressive episode. Then the airline misplaced the bag with my pills. Now I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts while trying not to break down and cry in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433 You deserved it 249

1 comment Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 694 You deserved it 45 449

92 comments Share

ehcanadianeh · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Toronto, Canada

Emotional rollercoaster

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 026 You deserved it 12 378

60 comments Share

Anonymous · 25 August 2024, 16:00 ·Bristol, United Kingdom

Kevin REALIZES he's LITERALLY not going home [GRAPHIC]

Today, I carpooled with my boss for the first time. To avoid any small talk, which makes me really anxious, I turned on my Spotify. Unfortunately, I forgot I'd been listening to a true crime podcast the night before. We spent the next 15 minutes listening to a gruesome murder description before I realized it. My boss looked horrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 536

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 23 August 2024, 06:00 ·Trenton, United States

Weird flex, but okay…

Today, I went through a fast-food drive-thru and gave my order in a perfect British accent for fun. When I got to the window, the cashier handed me my food and said, "I love your accent!" Caught off guard, I replied, "Oh, thanks a lot!" in my normal New Jersey accent. The confusion on her face was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 555

3 comments Share

Steve · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·New Zealand

Groundhog Day

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786 You deserved it 11 932

159 comments Share

GaryGaryOhGary · 21 August 2024, 20:00 ·United States

On time

Today, I set my alarm for 3:30 AM to catch an early flight. I got up, got dressed, and arrived at the airport in record time. While checking in, I was told that my flight is tomorrow morning. I’m now wide awake and sitting in a 24-hour diner, having a very early breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222 You deserved it 460

2 comments Share

Kerrilyn · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Let em in

Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window, telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 174 You deserved it 55 374

91 comments Share

gus98 · 17 August 2024, 16:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large automobile?"

Today, I went outside and walked to my car, only to see someone had hit and run my car while it was parked. My insurance company deemed my car a total loss. The person who did this never got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496 You deserved it 99

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 16 August 2024, 06:00 ·Windsor, Canada

Brain fog

Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 210

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 15 August 2024, 06:00 ·Portland, United States

Attempted good deed

Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 You deserved it 534

4 comments Share

Carrie P · 14 August 2024, 20:00 ·Lambesc, France

This is how I roll

Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 92

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 13 August 2024, 16:00 ·United Kingdom

Artful dodger

Today, my chemotherapy has knocked me so I couldn’t even climb stairs at the train station. Another passenger helped me to the top, which I was so grateful for until I realised he was a pickpocket. On one staircase he got away with my wallet, phone, earphones, and gold bracelet FML

I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 88

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 8 August 2024, 14:00 ·United States

It's a deal

Today, my husband bought his fifth car in two years. He doesn't wreck them, but he keeps buying old junk cars "for a bargain" that are one bad day away from being scrapped. The last one lasted two months before the frame broke in half from rust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 84

2 comments Share

Krule · 4 August 2024, 00:00 ·Redding, United States

Women be shopping

Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 544

1 comment Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Stuck

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 204 You deserved it 13 128

67 comments Share