We're men! We don't grow up, we just grow old. · 23 September 2023, 20:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Pecking order of shame

Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 You deserved it 997

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dogsickftl · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Opportunities

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'For Sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 208 You deserved it 7 177

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xobrattybabexo · 23 September 2023, 06:00 ·Comanche, United States

The war on cars strikes back

Today, as I was talking to my hubs about replacing a tire on my car, said tire blew. I don't have a spare, and I don't get paid till tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588 You deserved it 148

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brebis · This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff ·France

Trousers? Suit you sir!

Today, when I threw my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My pants got completely burnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 418 You deserved it 72 846

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mala_19 · 22 September 2023, 16:00 ·Burea, Sweden

Asshole design

Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 20 September 2023, 20:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

Spending spree

Today, I got a pay bonus and spend it on paying for 12 months of car registration up-front for the first time in my life, filled the tank, and got it professionally washed. After all that, I accidentally reversed into my own house, causing major damage. I have to borrow the money for the insurance excess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 678

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Sam · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Belgium

No good deed and all that

Today, on the way to an exam, I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured, and waited for the paramedics. I was late to school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse, and I failed the exam. It was an exam to test my first aid skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 813 You deserved it 4 411

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hatesurf · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Peru

Hawkeye

Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writing a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him, I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard, and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 112 You deserved it 10 186

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greeneyedpothead · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Hanford, United States

Panic on the streets of Hanford

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 627 You deserved it 28 181

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TheodoreFinches · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Bullies on the bus

Today, on the bus ride home from work, two women behind me kept pulling my hair. I turned around and told them to, "cut it out." When I got home, I realized they'd took it literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 699 You deserved it 1 679

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Hayley · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Road rage

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 067 You deserved it 4 666

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Anonymous · 7 September 2023, 00:02 ·Brisbane, Australia

Too trusting

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662 You deserved it 201

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Anonymous · 6 September 2023, 08:00

Vandalism

Today, some kid was scratching the side of my car with a brick so I yelled at him, then I yelled at his parents. They didn’t speak English and when cops arrived they told me I should have been more understanding and I was lucky not to be charged with verbally assaulting them. WHAT THE FUCK? FML

I agree, your life sucks 991 You deserved it 117

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XxrudyxX · This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff ·Fort Saskatchewan, Canada

Like riding a bike

Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 578 You deserved it 315

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Jeff comes unstuck · 31 August 2023, 14:00 ·Australia

Dangling

Today, I was cleaning my car when I hit the automatic window button while I was vacuuming in between the door and the driver's seat, and got stuck halfway out, in full view of my neighbor. He had to come get me out, because I couldn't reach the button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503 You deserved it 241

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ihatewasps · 30 August 2023, 20:00

Speed 3

Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596 You deserved it 215

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InDeepBlue · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

The joys of public transportation

Today, I took the bus home from work for the first time in my life. It was pretty crowded, so I immediately sat in an empty seat. Then, I felt something wet. It was puke. A lot of it, in fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114 You deserved it 599

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Joshua · 28 August 2023, 08:00 ·Newcastle, United Kingdom

Gan canny or we'll dunsh summick!

Today, I discovered my new phone's voice command doesn't really understand my accent while I'm driving. It kept thinking I was saying, "Call my mum" instead of, "Open Maps". It called my mum 14 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532 You deserved it 188

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meganisabella · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

You'll get the hang of it

Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my stepmom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 864 You deserved it 18 034

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ForcedPedestrian · 21 August 2023, 20:00 ·Staten Island, United States

Almost there

Today, my car broke down because it couldn't wait two more days for an oil change. Now it might be FUBAR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249 You deserved it 810

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mylifesucks · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·France

Family, family, family…

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 397 You deserved it 5 380

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Joe666 · 19 August 2023, 20:00 ·Austin, United States

Good intentions

Today, I decided to declutter my closet and donate old clothes. Proud of my altruism, I packed everything into bags and drove to the donation center. As I handed over the bags, the volunteer looked at me sympathetically and said, "We're not accepting donations right now." So not only did I just Marie Kondo my wardrobe, I also managed to be a one-person traffic jam for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 18 August 2023, 20:00

I'm new to all this!

Today, I tried to parallel park in front of a crowd. After several failed attempts, someone shouted from a window above, "Nice 23-point turn, dumbass!" I was practicing on an empty street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549 You deserved it 257

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Ava777 · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Hit and run

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 880 You deserved it 60 511

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

This ain't no place to be if you planned on bein' a star

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 105 You deserved it 37 118

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It’s your guy · 16 August 2023, 16:00 ·Bedford, United Kingdom

Running late

Today, I'm stuck in traffic and the rain is pouring. I guess I'll just have to wait until this is over. I wonder what I'll say to the interviewer when he cancels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559 You deserved it 176

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lukey101 · 14 August 2023, 10:00 ·Australia

Been there, done that

Today, I finally got home after driving solo for 4 full days across Australia. I left my house keys where I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785 You deserved it 259

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Anonymous · 13 August 2023, 04:00 ·Melbourne, Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Reverse Uno prank

Today, my best friend, who I hadn’t seen since last year, picked me up and we got to talking about our memories together. I brought up the time we both cheated on our girlfriends at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert. Little did I know his girlfriend was waiting in the back of the car to scare me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199 You deserved it 968

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Rian · 12 August 2023, 14:00

My old buddy

Today, I climbed into my junky old car and was pleasantly surprised that the AC came on. I patted the dash and said, "Thanks, buddy." Ten minutes later, as I was tearing down the highway, the engine threw a rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705 You deserved it 113

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Ah piss · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Get the checkbook out

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 740 You deserved it 4 018

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