Anonymous · 25 November 2024, 15:00 ·Bexleyheath, United Kingdom

Missed opportunities, mixed signals

Today, a friend told me he thought I was hot and we ended up having lunch together. I like him and we’ve already arranged a second date, but when I mentioned this to someone else, she got pretty upset. Turns out she liked me and had been dropping hints for a while. No clue what’ll happen to my friendship with her… FML

I agree, your life sucks 459 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Forever alone

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looked at me, then turned to everyone and said, "But not our Becky! She's more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 459 You deserved it 6 959

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Anonyme · 25 November 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Small world

Today, I went to my local grocery store in sweatpants and slippers to pick up some hangover food, thinking I wouldn’t run into anyone I know. I ran into my ex, her new partner, and his parents… twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 329

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Secret · 24 November 2024, 22:00 ·Davison, United States

Failed

Today, I looked at my boyfriend of four years's phone. He may not be cheating, but he was trying, and got shot down five times by three different women. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581 You deserved it 122

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I’m not like other guys! · 24 November 2024, 15:00 ·Anaheim, United States

Never gonna give you up

Today, my crazy ex has scared off yet another great woman. Thanks to all the douchebags that use “crazy ex” as an excuse to for their own shit behavior, no one believes me that mine is legitimately crazy. I didn’t cheat or mistreat her, I left because of her control and jealousy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505 You deserved it 114

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mywillyisdisappointed · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·United States

High hopes

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 165 You deserved it 3 539

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Lauren · 24 November 2024, 00:00 ·Australia

Turned out OK

Today, I found my high school diary and decided to read it for nostalgia. My teenage self wrote, “Future me will totally be rich, famous, and married to Chris Hemsworth by 30.” I’m 32, single, and googling “How to fix a clogged toilet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 189

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Martian man · 23 November 2024, 15:00 ·United States

It came from outer space

Today, I saw the woman I asked out last month in a relationship with another guy. She rejected me because she “wanted to focus on herself.” I texted her and asked why she had lied to me. She responded with, “Okay, you caught me. But can you blame me? I’m not attracted to butt ugly Martian-looking men.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 758

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CrematedOrMoppedUp · 23 November 2024, 12:00 ·Pittsburgh, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Vote of confidence

Today, I learnt that I could be happy and free from the negative emotions brought on by my ongoing clashes with my fiancée. All it took were some tears in front of my mum for her to assure me that it's okay to be alone and single, and to do whatever is best for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 214

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Jei Dee Eme · 23 November 2024, 03:00 ·Raleigh, United States

Human?

Today, I went to work 8:30 am. Human stayed home. Got home at 5pm. Human is working on his music at home. It is 7:11 pm and Human is still on his computer working on the same song, on replay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 407

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jesse · 23 November 2024, 00:00 ·Denver, United States

Oddly specific reason

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 900

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fuck you · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Sheffield, United Kingdom

Rare and inventive insult

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 684 You deserved it 3 856

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Grossed out · 21 November 2024, 15:00 ·United States

You're weird, dude

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509 You deserved it 97

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Anonymous · 21 November 2024, 03:00 ·Holden, United States

Controlling

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547 You deserved it 130

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Jaccqui · 20 November 2024, 22:00 ·United States

No words

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007 You deserved it 87

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dateless · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·London, United Kingdom

Tonight, on Blind Dates…

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588 You deserved it 2 468

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RealFlexTho · 19 November 2024, 12:00 ·Miami, United States

Bitter

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 You deserved it 1 579

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Frank · 19 November 2024, 00:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

Still mad about Toys R Us

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 643

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DreeStahr · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Liberty, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Steamy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 418 You deserved it 1 542

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Stop playing the victim · 17 November 2024, 15:00 ·United States

Reported and blocked

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 You deserved it 1 220

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Omydarlin · 16 November 2024, 20:00 ·United States

He's having a normal one

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 672 You deserved it 117

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Inga44 · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

The nerve of some people

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 238 You deserved it 3 796

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Anonymous · 15 November 2024, 15:00 ·South Africa

Backhanded

Today, I miss someone I shouldn’t. Someone who made me feel like complete shit, but I hope they're happy wherever they are, and they take care of themselves. I hope they heal with their family. I hope they are good and things workout for them. That they realise how awful they were and finally change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 You deserved it 410

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Pizza-less · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Losing streak

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 146 You deserved it 8 186

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Anonymous · 14 November 2024, 22:00 ·Darwin, Australia

Never going back

Today, I had to awkwardly stand next to my ex in a grocery store because our self-checkout machines froze at the same time. Our break up was quite acrimonious so we both tried to play it cool while the attendant came to fix them. They took their fucking time as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393 You deserved it 119

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whyme27 · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·South Bend, United States

Privacy

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 971 You deserved it 4 493

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Anonymous · 14 November 2024, 03:00

Doghouse

Today, my girlfriend’s mom just got engaged to her boyfriend and he claimed it was me that inspired him to ask her. My girlfriend hates him, so to say I’m in the doghouse is an understatement, I’m lucky to still be in the garden, never mind the doghouse, and I have no idea what I did to inspire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395 You deserved it 77

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Anonymous · 13 November 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Mommy's bravest boy

Today, my ex broke up with me because his mom didn't like me. He was visiting me across the country at the time, and still had a few days left. He had the audacity to still ask to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551 You deserved it 81

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

That old switcheroo

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 604 You deserved it 6 555

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daddy-o · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

So… good news, or…?

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 106 You deserved it 21 204

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