three years wasted · 1 October 2024, 22:00 ·San Diego, United States

Bad omen

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend sobbing so I went over to comfort her. She didn't want to talk about it, but was inconsolable. I called her best friend to help out, as maybe it's easier for her to talk to a woman instead. I found out from her friend that my partner's ex got his new girlfriend pregnant. That's why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613 You deserved it 90

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Beaaaaaa · 1 October 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Sneakin'

Today, I caught my husband talking to a girl on Instagram. He denied there being more than just “friendship” and gave me an ultimatum: to stop “policing” him or he throws me and our newborn out into the streets. He knows that I have no family or nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627 You deserved it 175

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Why are they all like this? · 1 October 2024, 06:00 ·Miami, United States

Judge Judy much?

Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 929

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JulesRules · 30 September 2024, 22:00 ·Portland, United States

Congratulations, you played yourself!

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147 You deserved it 554

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Anonymous · 30 September 2024, 20:00 ·Anaheim, United States 🌶️ Spicy

War of words

Today, my husband is on day two of giving me the silent treatment. It started when he got mad that the house was messy and said, “Why can’t you be like those wives online?!” I snapped back, “Why can’t you fuck like the guys in the porn?!” Let’s see who apologizes first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629 You deserved it 367

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TheL1nds · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Kingswood, Australia

Ghost town

Today, I checked my fake Facebook account for the first time in ages and realized that the "fake me" got more birthday greetings than the "real me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 623 You deserved it 28 434

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Joe Bloggs · 30 September 2024, 14:00 ·London, United Kingdom

Passive agressive on a whole new level

Today, I was at my usual coffee shop when I overheard a couple at the next table arguing about how to break up. They decided to have a “Breakup Party” and invited everyone around them, including me, right there and then. I ended up eating free cake while watching their weird, messy breakup unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462 You deserved it 136

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Anonymous · 30 September 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Butterfingers

Today, I was tasked with taking a photo of my best friend getting engaged. As her boyfriend got down on one knee, I got so nervous that I fumbled the camera. It landed right in the lake. I didn’t get a single picture, and now I owe them a new Canon EOS R10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174 You deserved it 563

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Karina · 30 September 2024, 06:00 ·Miami, United States

Demoted to just a friend, then

Today, my best friend of 5 years, who I got feelings for, and who I spent endless time bending over backwards and going above and beyond for, once again rejected me. He got into a car accident and I stayed with him all night, only for some girl he never even told me about to come and introduce herself as his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 You deserved it 918

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fmlmvlijthen · 29 September 2024, 16:00 ·Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Oh look, a big red flag!

Today, the girl I've been seeing for two months and with whom I'm in love with, asked me, whilst she's on holiday celebrating her birthday, whether I would pay for a male escort for her as a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 28 September 2024, 16:00 ·Lafayette, United States

Change of heart

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 262

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Freddie · 28 September 2024, 12:00 ·Poole, United Kingdom

Alexa, play "Ancient History" by The Cribs

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 589

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 20:00 ·Australia

Charming

Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386 You deserved it 119

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joi9496 · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Stellar parenting

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 742 You deserved it 486

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Vicious circle

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's most frequent OCD tic is also the biggest trigger of my misophonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391 You deserved it 101

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 12:00

More like high key

Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497 You deserved it 154

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Harriett · 27 September 2024, 06:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

I'm fine, this is fine

Today, I was out shopping with my friends when I saw my ex. I instinctively tried to hide by quickly turning around and walking into a store. It was a mirror. I walked straight into my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249 You deserved it 339

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Anonymous · 27 September 2024, 00:00 ·Boise, United States

Stranded and lonely

Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 20:00

Confused

Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612 You deserved it 163

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gassy · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Toot toot

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 256 You deserved it 36 110

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Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Introverts can relate

Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 457

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Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 12:00 ·Tamworth, United Kingdom

Explain yourself!

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed, and I said yes! Not even three hours later, I got a text message asking if we could just be friends instead. He won't tell me what changed, and doesn't feel like he owes me any explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623 You deserved it 88

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Anonymous · 25 September 2024, 22:00 ·Canyon Country, United States

Body horror

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend. I was the little spoon. His hand moved to my chest (I'm less than an A-cup, but very full on my bottom half), and I playfully said, "No! Don’t touch my chest!" He replied, "Huh? I thought that was your rib cage!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 360 You deserved it 183

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Derek · 25 September 2024, 09:00 ·Fallbrook, United States

Kinda sus, huh?

Today, my best friend told me, "Dude, your girlfriend looks so much like this girl I went to high school with!" and showed me a picture of a girl with a string bikini in a semi-suggestive pose on the beach. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't my girlfriend. He HAD to choose the skimpiest photo to compare to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338 You deserved it 149

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Kate · 24 September 2024, 20:00 ·St. Thomas, Canada

Very romantic

Today, I went to my (now ex) boyfriend’s step-uncle’s wedding. He got absolutely wasted and kept talking about marrying me in front of his mom and step-dad, but was listing off who he would and wouldn’t invite, all in front of the people he wouldn’t invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 116

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Nathalieeeee · 24 September 2024, 16:00 ·San Diego, United States

Congrats!

Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 5 547

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anon · 23 September 2024, 20:00 ·Montréal, Canada

His type

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mom stared at me throughout dinner before finally blurting out, "I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that you look just like his ex!" It turns out I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549 You deserved it 82

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ZackAMole · 23 September 2024, 00:00 ·Canada

Messy

Today, I was finally about to propose to my girlfriend at a fancy restaurant. Just as I got down on one knee, the fire alarm went off and the entire restaurant had to evacuate. She thought I was joking, and now she’s mad at me for "messing with her emotions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 529 You deserved it 75

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jakob the small twink · 22 September 2024, 22:00 ·Fallbrook, United States

Inferiority complex

Today, I pulled up to a party/house rave. I was told there were a decent amount of women there. I guess they'd all left by the time I arrived. The only girl I saw there was my ex-girlfriend, who left me without a trace last month, dancing with a bunch of guys who were all physically way bigger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 180

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Anonymous · 21 September 2024, 22:00 ·United States

The real Zodiac killer?

Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 You deserved it 1 269

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