Liar

By debiebs - 29/12/2015 12:04 - Brazil - Salvador

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 544

You deserved it 2 327

Trickery

By Patryce - 16/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my doctor inadvertently let the cat out of the bag that I don’t have cancer in front of my husband. I’d told him I had cancer to stop him from leaving me for his colleague who he’s absolutely moonstruck over. When we got home, he gave me the silent treatment. He went out and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 348

Lies and love don't mix

By Gregoree - 16/04/2022 00:01

Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 3 075

How not to raise them

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 14:00

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 444

Saved

By Anonymous - 24/06/2016 21:35 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my daughter posted a poem on Facebook about how her father and I abused her for years. It's a complete lie and an obvious attempt to impress her boyfriend, whom she thanked for "rescuing" her. I've received several hateful messages already, along with threats to report me to CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 188

You deserved it 1 140

One law for thee…

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 22:00

Today, I realized my mom is a big hypocrite for telling me sex is wrong and sinful outside marriage, because I just worked out from their marriage certificate my mom must have been pregnant with me in college, and I was born after they’d only been married for four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 194

What a * liar, dude! What a *, weaselly, little liar, dude!

By nohablaespanol - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sanger

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resumé, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 659

You deserved it 96 026

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 01:58

Today, my husband has been isolating for 6 days in our bedroom, with me sleeping in the spare room, since his positive COVID test. I found instructions for how to fake the positive result on our shared iPad. He lied to get out of work, my birthday, and my parents' anniversary party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 271

Policy of truth

By WalkofShame101 - 04/06/2023 22:00

Today, my parents took the car I was supposed to get for my graduation back. Note to self: Don’t fall asleep at your friend Diane’s house past curfew. PS: Don’t lie about being at Diane’s, because they called her mom, who said I wasn’t there. I was actually at my boyfriend’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 905

Caught in 4K

By reptar2009 - 02/12/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 429

You deserved it 87 633

Truancy

By Shauna - 08/11/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 552

You deserved it 2 601

Play 4′33″ by John Cage

By NonPianoMan - 26/08/2021 16:01

Today, after I'd told this girl I’m seeing that I play piano to impress her, it turns out her father is a pianist and has a grand piano in their house. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to her place to play her my "favorite piece." FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 2 208

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 08/06/2023 00:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I set my relationship status to taken with a fake profile just for kicks. A literal minute later, an acquaintance commented proof that I stole the image from Google. I can't tell if I was busted so quickly because I'm a bad liar, or that people find it impossible to believe that I could get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 143

Tori Amos?

By wedeserveeachother - 24/01/2022 20:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 2 358

Nice try

By Patricia89 - 22/01/2022 22:59

Today, I came home early from work and caught my husband cheating red-handed, in bed with the other woman. His reaction was, “I was just joking!” and asked the other woman what she was doing here, and asked her to leave. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 153

Man meat

By Anonymous - 13/01/2022 14:01

Today, I discovered my boyfriend gets lunch every day at Burger King. I confronted him, and he broke up with me. Apparently, he only pretended to be vegan like me to get in my pants, and now the jig is up he dumped me so he can return to having meat at all three meals of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 874

Kinda sus

By Forgotten - 27/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my boyfriend went to a “Lovers New Year's Eve” party. I didn’t go. He told me he had to “work” that night and couldn’t spend time with me. When I confronted him about it, he told me he “forgot” to tell me and it was “a last minute thing.” We’ve been dating for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 161

Pants on fire

By IDontWantToBeHere - 09/06/2021 22:01

Today, my ex told me he wants honesty in a relationship. I agree. It's a shame he felt it was OK to tell lies from the very beginning of the relationship that lasted about 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 120

It's a set up!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 10:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 320

By kyla - 24/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 102

You deserved it 9 608

Psycho

By dating a psycho - 03/02/2022 08:00

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 121

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son swears blind he didn’t take my car joyriding last night. Thing is, I reverse into the drive. He drove it back in facing forwards, but no matter how I tell him, he doesn’t get it because the car's in the drive, so there’s no evidence, right? IT’S FACING THE WRONG WAY DUMBASS, I KNOW YOU TOOK IT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 100

Clout demon

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 18:00 - United States - Winnebago

Today, my uncle is posting on Facebook for clout about how his mom died of COVID. She actually died of sepsis from severe Alzheimer's. He was at the hospice meeting, and his wife and daughter held her hand when she passed. She also died two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 98

Double agent

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I’ve been such an idiot. I believed everything my boyfriend told me about his ex being a bitter baby mama, keeping the kids from him, weaponizing custody, etc. Then she showed me all the messages of him making BS excuses to not even try to see his kids. He hasn’t made a visit in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 148

Dense

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 226

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

By Mom - 17/07/2023 15:00

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 1 538

Policy of truth

By Searsguy - 19/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 2 878

The wizard

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 14:00

Today, we had our busiest day at work all year with lots of angry people calling, and a co-worker called in sick. I went to my local game shop after work, exhausted and upset, and guess who was at his usual table running a Dungeons and Dragons group, apparently not too sick to go out. Yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 128

You deserved it 201

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, it's been a year since I met a guy online. We clicked almost immediately. Eventually we started dating, after proving who we are through many sources. Turns out he lied about his age after he conspired to make sure I was 100% in love with him before telling me the truth. He's legal but the age gap is uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 127

How could you do this to me?

By Emma - 26/08/2012 20:00 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten-free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 793

You deserved it 2 247

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 695

You deserved it 11 631

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 023

You deserved it 23 342

Today, I learned that the gentleman who found my wallet was not satisfied with the $300 cash and forged a check for a washer and dryer. I found out when I checked my account. It cleared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 181

Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so having a friend nearby is a huge win for her. What my wife doesn’t know is that her new friend keeps hitting on me, and has already sent me unsolicited nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 326

Today, I was crossing the street and did a full on faceplant. The reason? I pinched a nerve in my foot a couple of days ago, and now it’s completely useless. It’s like walking around with a dead foot. I think I’d be better off hopping on one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 134

Today, I learned that my 11 year-old daughter wrote a love letter to her teacher. Cute, right? It was an incredibly graphic letter where she asked him to "abduct her and chain her up in his basement." I now must find her a new school and a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 94