Anonymous · 28 June 2023, 06:00 ·Stillwater, United States

Too awkward to function

Today, my sister told me she doesn't think her mom died the way she was told. Uncomfortable, I declined to give my 2 cents on the matter, saying, "I'm sorry" and, "Oh sh!t, sorry." She started gaslighting me about how I wasn't listening, and I told her I was sorry for being a piece of shit, so she then gaslit me about that too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265 You deserved it 715

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Overworked · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Confused

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 871 You deserved it 3 334

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Endrit Begolli · 27 June 2023, 00:02 ·Albania

Take it easy

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628 You deserved it 260

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Jasmine_smilee · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Canby, United States

Fact check

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 680 You deserved it 9 093

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Anonymous · 26 June 2023, 10:00 ·Gujranwala, Pakistan

Shite day

Today, while coming home from school on my bike, I lost control of it, and went straight into a light pole. Thankfully I was at a very low speed. After that, someone splashed puddle of water at me with their car. After getting to home, I went to take a bath during which the shampoo went into my left eye. It's still hurting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649 You deserved it 158

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Cooked alive · 26 June 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Hope that's in Fahrenheit

Today, for the first time in at least two years, the temperature exceeded 100 degrees in my area. Except this time, it nearly hit 110. Even with my fan and air conditioner on the highest setting, my room was still burning hot. It's currently 11pm and the temperature has gone down… to 81 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687 You deserved it 160

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Mark A. Collette · 24 June 2023, 15:00

Everyone's a critic

Today, I saw the "Weird: Al Yankovic" movie. What a waste of time that I will never get back. And I don't have that much time left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233 You deserved it 883

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Anonymous · 24 June 2023, 10:00 ·Monroe, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Alexa, play "****** Addict" by Buzzcocks

Today, I stopped using porn by blocking it on my phone and laptop. Only problem is I still get off without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463 You deserved it 440

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Anonymous · 24 June 2023, 06:00

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

Today, after 8 months of horrific insomnia, I finally got an appointment with a sleep specialist. His advice? "Google it, download this free app, and call me in 5 months if it gets worse." I haven't slept more than 4 hours uninterrupted since 2022. I'll be lucky to be alive in 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858 You deserved it 123

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Anonymous · 24 June 2023, 03:00 ·Germany

Suit yourself

Today, I offered my boyfriend medicine which is quite likely to help with his pollen allergy and other health problems, free of charge, and without side effects. I also pointed out an easy fix to keep the pollen out of his apartment. He said, “No thanks” to both, and just kept on complaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782 You deserved it 155

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Anonymous · 23 June 2023, 18:00

Coping

Today, I realized how self-absorbed my mother is when she came to visit, and was so upset at my sibling over a non-issue that she didn't notice I was high so I wouldn't have to remember anything she said. I was hoping for a healthier relationship with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591 You deserved it 273

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stephiew · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Brief encounter

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 198 You deserved it 2 626

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Anonymous · 22 June 2023, 18:00 ·St. Petersburg, United States

Batshit soup

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755 You deserved it 108

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Actually Avoidant · 22 June 2023, 00:02 ·United States

Buzzfeed strikes again

Today, I took a test to see if I may have avoidant personality disorder, and if I do, how strong those traits are, as expressed by a percentage based on your answers. I got an 82% when I lied on a few questions, and a 93% when I was completely honest. I think I'd be forgiven for self diagnosing myself here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247 You deserved it 611

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Wet · 21 June 2023, 15:00

Not cool

Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243 You deserved it 4 079

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Anonymous · 21 June 2023, 03:00 ·Isle, United States

Racketeering

Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · 20 June 2023, 03:00

Memento

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718 You deserved it 545

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fat girl problems · 19 June 2023, 18:00 ·United States

It'll be over soon

Today, my soon-to-be-ex saw me cleaning my creases with a wash rag, even though I’d showered earlier. To him that’s proof that I'd fucked someone else and was wiping away the evidence. To me it’s proof that I need touch ups throughout the day so I don’t stink. I sweat profusely and it’s over 90°F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055 You deserved it 182

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Kal · 19 June 2023, 16:00

Next!

Today, while I was explaining my troubles to my therapist, he asked me, "And don't you have someone you can tell all that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 810 You deserved it 122

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Anonymous · 19 June 2023, 12:00 ·Australia

Miscommunication

Today, an actual doctor told me I’ve been “passed around like a bong at a party”, referring to how many doctors have treated my MS condition. Worse yet, I responded with, “Don’t worry, I’m used to it”, without realising how that would sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780 You deserved it 132

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Blinded · 19 June 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Where am I?

Today, I participated in the "Color Run," an event where you walk across town while people douse you with colored powder. They have yet to implement a rule saying you can't hit people in the face. My ears are pink and blue, my hair's orange, my lips and beard are purple, and I can see better WITHOUT my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 843

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Toothache · 19 June 2023, 00:02

NHS for all

Today, during a routine visit to the dentist, she advised me to get root canal treatment done, to avoid any future pain. As we are traveling abroad where we won't have insurance, my husband is forcing me to get RCT within four days. I'm in so so much pain, life is hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663 You deserved it 157

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Tattooed and Sexy · 18 June 2023, 22:00

Volunteering gone too far

Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681 You deserved it 233

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Manhattan, United States

Diets suck

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 199 You deserved it 50 401

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Anonymous · 18 June 2023, 00:02

Dad, what have you done?

Today, I still don’t know how to act in front of my mother in law. She thinks that the Earth is flat and told her kids that all sunscreens cause cancer. She also has other theories that make me feel weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840 You deserved it 133

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Anonymous · 17 June 2023, 18:00 ·Romania

Big farmer

Today, and for years, I have been on a medication for a neurological disease that put many restrictions on me. My doctor had finally told me that the medication was working very well and lifted some of my restrictions. I then found out that the drug is no longer sold in my country, and that there is no substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 17 June 2023, 03:00 🌶️ Spicy

Bad timing

Today, more than fifteen years of marriage and sex at least once a week has given my otherwise lovely husband the stamina to last a minute and a half. We've cum together less than five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830 You deserved it 294

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IantoJones_fml · 16 June 2023, 03:00

It ain't AI OK

Today, Reddit decided to nuke API access to cash in on AI training. ChatGPT and the like already scrubbed them months ago. They’re killing the only apps I can use with my disability, as collateral damage to u/spez's d!ck measuring contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657 You deserved it 240

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gkid92 · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Fill em up!

Today, I found out that if I don't get fillings in at least ten of my teeth within the next year, I could lose them all. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 813 You deserved it 43 454

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Cutting them off would hurt less than this · 15 June 2023, 15:00 ·Midlothian, United States

Take a seat

Today, it's been a year since completely breaking a ligament in my ankle. Since then, my feet have gotten increasingly sensitive, walking or standing for longer than ten minutes feels like I'm being stabbed, and lasts long after I sit down. I work retail and they consistently forget to give me my breaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790 You deserved it 117

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