Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML
Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML
Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, a man on a bike was so preoccupied with making lewd comments about another girl's behind that he drove straight into mine. FML
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Top comments
Jared900DUmpling 30
I just wish the impact had cause his girlfriend to bite down.
TeasinDaNoobs 16
If you remember the kind and color of the car you could report it as a hit and run, even better if you caught the license plate!
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Comments (48)
TeasinDaNoobs 16
If you remember the kind and color of the car you could report it as a hit and run, even better if you caught the license plate!
rhyspiecesno8 18
Really, I never thought of that.
jesterinperil 28
26, I'm pretty sure OP might not have when they were on the ground with two of their ribs cracked in half.
alainopotato 20
Even a partial plate can be run through the system. Definitely file a report, OP!
SofaKing619 13
Call the 5-0
roccoman79 8
If she was bent over blowing him, how did you see her after being hit by a car?
OfficialKJRoss_ 2
He didn't see her, he saw the driver and assumed I'm guessing
Dale_shackleford 13
If to a car he could probably see her back arched over and her head behind the wheel.
YoloWhiteRSA 20
His ecstasy will dissappear after the police charge him with reckless driving.
mohamed_H 21
And possibly a hit and run if caught.
OnAMission 5
I'm sorry but those people in the car suck.
burgersnchips 8
I hope that pun was intended
freddygasman 18
Well, we know one does.
Jared900DUmpling 30
I just wish the impact had cause his girlfriend to bite down.
19teej96 19
You clearly have no idea how painful any injury to a penis is. I wouldn't even wish that upon my worst enemy...
silversolo 15
What about an injury to the rib?
MariaGiovanni 25
25 no we dont know but I imagine its about as bad as GETTING HIT BY A CAR during a hit and run! Some people...
Jared900DUmpling 30
25 - not only was it an attempt at humor, id say a penis injury would be well deserved in that situation. The dude had it cumming.
GhostFox 34
See if there were any cameras on the street, and then try to get the footage pulled if there are any. If you can and do, and there's a license plate that's distinguishable, you should file charges for every thing that you can. Sound like: Speeding, reckless driving, hit and run, possibly reckless endangerment of others, driving while distracted.... I hope something I suggested helped, and that he gets in a shit ton of trouble, especially since he could have killed you.
GhostFox 34
While the police are largely responsible for the actual investigation and pursuing the case, the fact remains that unless the victim of the crime brings the allegations to their attention, crime units may not pursue the case. Especially if the crime occurred in a high-crime density area, or considered a minor one. So, when people suggest that someone "should press criminal charges," they're saying that the person should make sure that it is being investigated, instead of the case being put at the back of a warehouse before the ink dries on the documents.
buckdharma 38
Hopefully, you never forget that face. When the police put him in a lineup, have them recite the alphabet. Pay careful attention to their "O" face.
Tsukiyomi 16
That "man" no longer has the right to own a penis
InfiniteSunshine 32
Even if he was very distracted by the *******, how the hell did he completely miss the fact that he ran into someone? Considering that it broke your ribs, that wasn't a light tap. I've been in a crash before, not involving a pedestrian thankfully, but you can feel the pressure of your car being hit, even from inside, you usually lurch forward too, not to mention, you can hear it. Anyway, this is a lesson for everyone, ******** are too distracting when driving, you can wait until you get home, it's really not that difficult. I hope you find the guy OP, he deserves to be punished for not paying attention.