Embarrassing

We were on a break

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned to always remember to mute yourself on Zoom when on your break. My apartment is so small, they all heard me take the longest piss of my life, moan and butt scratching included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 1 019

You're fit but don't you know it

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I was running at the gym, feeling like a fitness influencer. I increased the treadmill speed to “sprint” mode. My shoelace got caught in the belt, and I was launched backward into a rack of yoga mats, knocking them over like bowling pins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 352

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 340

Wake me up before you go go

By Sam - 13/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap while I was on my lunch break. When I woke up, I realized my coworker had put a Post-it note on my face that said, "Wake me up before I start drooling." I'd definitely drooled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 270

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 129

The clichés are real

By Krish Kochar - 08/11/2022 16:00 - Canada

Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 891

Pretend I'm not here

By Bad bridesmaid - 11/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. During the ceremony, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to stifle it, but when I sneezed, my bouquet flew out of my hands and into the groom’s face. It knocked his glasses off, and everyone was silent until the groom finally said, “Are you implying you oppose our marriage?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 117

Carpool karaoke

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was singing loudly in my car at a red light, completely oblivious. When I finished the song, I turned to see a bus full of passengers watching (and also some of them filming) my performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 430

Alexa, play "Ancient History" by The Cribs

By Freddie - 28/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 584

Let it all out

By achoo-plop - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 191

You deserved it 2 117

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 738

You deserved it 32 245

Shudder

By Ohgodmother - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Hobart

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 797

You deserved it 4 085

It's never like in the movies

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 19:59

Today, after giving a speech at college, I did the good ol' mic drop. The microphone fell with a loud bang that was heard through the clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 1 440

Classic

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 16:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I was at a volleyball game talking with my friends when a girl who is in my team arrived. She was greeting someone else but I thought that she was saying hi to me. However, I'd already waved back at her. All my friends and others noticed the situation and as a result they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 154

Health hazard

By Melinda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 331

You deserved it 2 994

Greasy greasy spot spot

By Whoops - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 210

You deserved it 47 420

Caught in the act

By urmommmm - 22/08/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year-olds do at midnight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 373

You deserved it 25 432

Hotly debated topic

By Office Space 2025 - 23/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 502

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I accidentally texted "Haha, what a fucking weirdo!" to the person I was talking about. Their reply? "At least I’m not dumb enough of a cunt to send texts to the wrong person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 952

Rough patch

By Jeff - 04/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 151

Golden rule

By Gilgamuch - 05/12/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 914

Noooooooooo!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I reached a new low and embarrassed my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 312

You deserved it 62 604

Bubbly

By nomegusta - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 563

You deserved it 28 641

Chill

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 479

Drama!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 541

Perfect 10

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at work after everyone had gone home and started practicing my "cool" walk for a date I was going on after leaving the office. As I was strutting around, the doors of a conference room opened to a group of my coworkers, including my boss. They hadn't all gone home, and they'd seen everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 622

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 681

You deserved it 4 447

Valuetainment

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to entertain my crush at a party by showing off my juggling skills. I confidently grabbed three random objects, not realizing one was a jar of pickles. Mid-juggle, the jar slipped and shattered, splashing pickle juice all over my crush. She just stared at me in disbelief, while I stood there smelling like vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 748

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 15/05/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom - Canterbury

Today, I was on a bus with my friend's older brother. He was kinda cute. I went to message my best friend, telling her how cute this guy was, how he was kinda packing downstairs, and how adorable he was. Two minutes later, he wordlessly turned his phone screen to me. It was the message. I sent it to him by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 1 212

Lost it

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to an escape room on a date. I was convinced I’d be the puzzle-solving hero, so I sprinted ahead… straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that set off alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff, and my date still hasn’t talked to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 685

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Painful Relatable Health Miscellaneous Delivery Awkward Annoying Embarrassing School Gross Video games Gamers Family Cops Mysterious Poopoo peepee Work Food Birthday Narcissistic parents Surprise Pregnancy Kids Customers Love Pranks Coworkers Jealousy Accident ADHD

The Top

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 132

You deserved it 5 776

Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 544

You deserved it 76 936

Today, my dad went to the doctor to find out if he is autistic. When we walked in, the doctor asked why he wasn't testing if he was diabetic, effectively calling my dad fat. My dad was deeply offended, so I gave that jackass doctor an earful. But as it turns out, he was correct. My dad does have diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 420

Today, it's my last week working at a gas station. A fat middle-aged man threw a hissy over the price of 2-liter Coke and demanded I change it. I asked him to leave; he wouldn't, and forced me to call the cops. He stormed out as I was on the phone, pointed at me, and called me a "weak piece of shit". Three more days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 126

Today, I fell down some stairs and broke my ankle. At the hospital, a nurse asked how far along I was and boom, one ultrasound later, I’m actually pregnant. I had to then convince multiple doctors that I did not in fact throw myself down the stairs trying to cause miscarriage before they’d let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 91

Today, I walked in the bathroom and smelled a disgusting cheesy smell. I looked at the tub and my boyfriend was furiously scrubbing under his toenails with a nail brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 79