Anonymous
Kinda expected
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
All the FMLs
Foreigner
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Jersey
Chud
Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML
Anonymous
Looksmaxxing
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Anonymous
What would you do?
Today, I learned that repairing my car will cost more than it's worth. I'm barely making it paycheck to paycheck and I had to sleep in that car several nights this week after getting thrown out of my sister's house. Now I need a room AND a car. FML
Anonymous
Romcom moment
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I was tired of waiting for him to propose. It turns out he was going to propose and had the ring and everything, but I fucked it all up. FML
CrimsonAmaryllis
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Bristol, United Kingdom
Move!
Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML
Anonymous
Come on, man
Today, my parents said that we're never going to see our grandparents again because my grandpa hit my asshole little brother with a belt for calling him a boomer. I love my grandparents so much but my parents won't listen. FML
Anonymous
Strained out
Today, my parents happily announced that they're getting remarried. They divorced because of the strain brought on by me nearly dying in a car accident. So basically they put us through all that shit, including me blaming myself for everything, for nothing. FML
Anonymous
The proposal
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML
SnowyConcussion
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
**** ice
Today, after spending the past four days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law patted my head and said, "I'll go get some salt." FML
Megs
Dealbreaker
Today, I'm preparing to go through my second divorce, all because I don't want kids. Both of them agreed to no kids when we were dating, then changed their minds. FML
Little mermaid
The pros and cons of FWB
Today, I got to speak to a friend with benefits and he’s been stringing me along for months now. We finally got the chance to do the deed and my husband ruined it. Now he only speaks to me when it’s convenient for him. FML
Covian
Too fast
Today, my boyfriend told me he lost his feelings for me and is breaking up with me. He also told me he’ll be glad to contribute to raising our son, who I gave birth to 3 months ago. To rub salt in the wound, he announced on Facebook as “In a relationship” with his coworker 12 hours later. FML
Hahapasdroleleptit
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
France
Innocence
Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML
Good mom
Kidmaxxing
Today, my husband and I had a huge fight. I have a son from a previous relationship who he loves, but he wants more kids. My son is 9, almost 10, he's so used to being my baby that I can't bring myself to take that from him by having another baby. FML
Eric
Bougie
Today, my girlfriend showed me a Louis Vuitton bag and asked if I could buy it for her. I told her I don’t have that kind of money. She said, “That wasn’t my question; my question was, could you buy it?” I said, “No.” She then said, “Broke and lacks listening skills. I’m better off.” Four years down the drain over a purse. FML
Anonymous
I'm fine, I'm OK
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Anonymous
Double life
Today, I found out that the guy I’d been seeing for four months, with holidays, gifts, intimacy, meeting friends, the whole “building something” vibe, had secretly been on a dating app sleeping with another girl the whole time (she also still doesn't know). He lied, offered no apology, and justified his actions by saying, “We weren’t official.” FML
NoPeeGiven
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Palatine, United States
Straining
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Anonymous
Vengeance will be mine
Today, I had to get in contact with a crisis line because of how bad I am being bullied at work. Management won't get rid of the one responsible, as they are also part of Management. Several others have either quit or made complaints, as they are experiencing the same thing. Still nothing is getting done. FML
Anonymous
Do your own research
Today, after decades of 24/7 cognitive impairment and being made to feel like a hypochondriac by many doctors over the years, I learned I have a severe physical illness. I kept researching and discovered my own illness, found out which test to ask for, and finally showed doctors proof. FML
dazedandconfused
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
It's not what you think
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Anonymous
The other shoe will drop
Today, I survived the last round of layoffs. What didn't survive is my team, my manager, and my tasks. Now I'm "reporting" to a VP who used to be three levels above me and has never heard of me. I'm waiting for HR to wake up and realize that this change literally means I get six figures for doing nothing. FML
Anonymous
Quite the catch
Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML
desperatelyseeking
Worst dating advice ever
Today, I started ordering food on Uber Eats, hoping to meet a cute delivery girl and start a conversation. I got deliveries from "Stacey", "Pamela", and "Julie." All three of them were men who spoke poor English. FML
Anonymous
Leaky
Today, I decided I was tired of being fat so I started GLP-1. Today I also learned it can cause intractable diarrhea. Today I shit in an emesis bag in my car in a line at my kids' school, so now I’m fat and a shitty mom. FML
FranticFarAwayDaughter
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Magical mystery tour
Today, my mother was transferred from the hospital to a long-term care facility. Nobody I talk to at the hospital knows what facility they sent her to. FML
Anonymous
Good luck!
Today, it's my breaking point. I've been in a roommate-type marriage for too long and I've finally lost the spark of hope that made me stay. It's going to be a terrible process to rebuild my life but I can't deal like this anymore. I'd rather live in the dirt than another day here. FML
Anonymous
Cruise away
Today, my mom booked my family a $250 spot for a dinner cruise. I'm a type 1 diabetic in diabetic ketoacidosis. I told her that I needed to go to the hospital as this could kill me. Her response? "WHAT ABOUT THE $250 I PAID FOR THE CRUISE?!" I guess she cares more about the money than the fact I might die. Thanks mom. FML
Older men, ew
Terminally online
Today, a much older guy hit on me with the line, "Hey, Gen Z boss in a mini!" Ew, get away grampa. FML