Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Rising Damp

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 490 You deserved it 2 525

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Anonymous · 17 March 2026, 15:00

Target goals

Today, I officially completed my weight loss journey, only for my wife, who'd previously threatened to divorce me if I didn't lose weight, to tell me that she realized she liked me better when I was fat and that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 531 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 17 March 2026, 09:00

Happy family

Today, I asked my wife why she’s been in such a sour mood lately. She released a barrage of complaints, but the biggest one being that she’s bored. In fact, she described me and our kids as the most excruciatingly boring people she’s ever met, all because we’re introverts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Christchurch, New Zealand

Intervention

Today, my mom and I staged an intervention for my alcoholic dad. Within minutes he'd turned everything around on us, claiming we're in no position to judge him for drinking since we use "too much water" when we shower. Apparently that's on the same level as being an abusive alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 200 You deserved it 872

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Anonymous · 17 March 2026, 03:00

You big baby

Today, my husband was supposed to have knee surgery but he wouldn't leave the house because he "got scared" no matter what I and even my mother-in-law tried to do. Now he can't have it for another six months and I took three weeks off work to help him that I can't cancel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 84

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Too young for a job btw · 17 March 2026, 00:00

Heated gaming moment

Today, my younger brother broke his Switch in a fit of gamer rage. When my dad refused to buy him a new one, he had a massive tantrum. Later, he dunked mine in the toilet since it "wasn't fair" that I still had a Switch and he didn't. My parents beat him, but they won't buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 16 March 2026, 22:00

Mixed messages

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor pounding on her roof/my floor. I thought she was being a Karen and wanting me to be quiet, even though I wasn’t doing anything. I stomped back defiantly to make a point. Turns out she was having an asthma attack and was asking for help. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228 You deserved it 329

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Anonymous · 16 March 2026, 20:00

I hate surprises

Today, my family and friends threw a surprise birthday party for me, after I'd said multiple times that I didn't want one. I turned and left and now everybody is angry at me and calling me ungrateful and spoiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437 You deserved it 234

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itzcorinnelove · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Goldfinger

Today, I was walking my aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out, the bag had a small unnoticeable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didn't realize it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 503 You deserved it 12 830

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Anonymous · 16 March 2026, 15:00

Uncle Fester

Today, my asshole uncle stole the painkillers I was prescribed after my surgery. To top it all off, the pharmacy called CPS on my mom when she attempted to replace them because they thought she was lying, so they're going to be investigating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463 You deserved it 63

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Anna · 16 March 2026, 12:00

New BFF unlocked

Today, it's been three years that I've worked as a waitress at a fine local restaurant. I like the work and it felt special when a regular customer, with my permission, hugged and complimented me, and said, "I appreciate you, 'Anna the Cool'. Thanks for helping to make this my fave restaurant." If only my friends were this nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359 You deserved it 97

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Milos Maricic · 16 March 2026, 09:00

We're open

Today, after six months of building my SaaS (Software as a service) every night after work while juggling life with three kids, I finally launched it. Two months later, it’s still getting almost zero traffic. Turns out building the product was the easy part… getting people to actually visit it is the real nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350 You deserved it 127

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no, don't save me or nothing · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Woodstock, Canada

Speed

Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 188 You deserved it 8 991

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Anonymous · 16 March 2026, 00:00

Grit your teeth

Today, it's my son's wedding. I really don't want to go because he's marrying his former stepsister, whose father is my ex-husband. We went through an extremely nasty and bitter divorce and I absolutely want nothing to do with him, but I don't have a choice because I have to be there for my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 You deserved it 114

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 22:00

Pair of doozies

Today, God blessed me with two children: one a shiftless arsehole who is definitely going to jail one day, and a neurotic overachiever destined for either a medical degree or a loony bin, and most days I can’t decide which is the biggest pain to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 You deserved it 407

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 20:00

Pump and dump

Today, the judge sided with my ex-wife in our divorce, even though the stupid bitch fell for some crypto scam and lost all our money and left us destitute. Apparently, she's an "innocent victim" and I'm a bad person for not standing by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 130

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hendrixisgod86 · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Crestview, United States

Moron

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 552 You deserved it 2 187

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Leesa · 15 March 2026, 15:00

Acceptance

Today, it's my 16th birthday, a time meant to be a big day, so it felt right to tell my family I'm a lesbian. My dad and two brothers were fine with it; my bros hugged me to show support, and dad said he'd hang with me if I needed a pal to discuss girls with. My mom, well… who knew being gay made me "a bitch who betrayed her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 508 You deserved it 134

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 12:00

You believed him??

Today, I learned that my ex-boyfriend didn't cheat on me with my ex-best friend like he said. He just wanted an excuse to break up. To make matters worse, when I tried to talk to her, she slapped me and gave me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359 You deserved it 249

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 09:00

Shiny happy people

Today, it was picture day and I had gotten my hair really nice and my outfit was perfect. Then, disaster: I was fidgeting with those squishy things filled with water and glitter, and it suddenly exploded. One second I'm playing with it, the next it's exploded all over my face. It's safe to say I truly shined in that picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 You deserved it 310

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tacky_unrefined · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Pure class

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 840 You deserved it 4 141

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 03:00

Odd family

Today, my wife demanded a divorce because I returned custody of my nieces and nephew to my brother, who has spent the last few years recovering from a horrible car accident. My wife wanted us to keep and adopt them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 15 March 2026, 00:00

Lost in music

Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 You deserved it 621

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footinmouth · 14 March 2026, 22:00

Sorry about your dick, bro

Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 490

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Anonymous · 14 March 2026, 20:00

RIP MIL

Today, my mother-in-law died but my husband still insists that we go on our family spring break vacation. I don't want to because I loved my MIL and our kids are absolutely distraught and don't want to go anymore, plus we would miss the funeral if we went. But he refuses to cancel or postpone. He's being selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434 You deserved it 89

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Broken Arm · This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Reality is weirder than fiction

Today, I found out that while it is unlikely you'll break your arm by catching it in the door, it is perfectly possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 14 March 2026, 15:00

Madcap plans

Today, my wife inherited her grandparents' farm in Hawaii and she is now dead-set on uprooting our kids and everything, and moving the family there. I keep telling her that just isn't feasible or financially possible, but she won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 14 March 2026, 12:00

Desperate

Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532 You deserved it 80

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Doomed to be fat · 14 March 2026, 09:00

Quite rightly so

Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 You deserved it 1 524

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Paramedic · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

How dare you?

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 586 You deserved it 4 510

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