your_ma

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Offline (the 06/02/2015 at 12:31pm)

your_ma

65Fucked!

your_ma
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9092
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's page activity

Visits<b>Rozay333</b> - 19 hours ago<b>oreo00</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:21pm<b>Parkourlife20</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 2:09pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 8:46pm<b>dmorrte</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 11:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:08pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 1:46pm<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:08am<b>quarterbird</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 1:50pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:46am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 9:36pm<b>refticon</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 4:53pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:58pm<b>milehigh52</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:29am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:55am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:16am<b>jayfish18</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:28am<b>10220706</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 4:39pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 6:18am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:49am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:53pm<b>milehigh52</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:29am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:48am<b>copierce</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:40pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:15pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:24am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:39am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:00am<b>amcquaid</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:01pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:45pm<b>int15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:45pm<b>gurbism</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:04pm<b>Leafa</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:17am<b>WTFisTurbo</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 6:29am

your_ma's FML badges

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

by Mark / 03/30/2009 at 3:06am / United States / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

by Noname / 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

by ubbernoob / 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids