About weekendhero : tall hobbit. I like a lot of stuff, acting, music, all things geeky. Message me sometime.
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weekendhero's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm / United States / Work
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
by milked / 02/27/2015 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by DreamsDontComeTrue / 02/05/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 8:12am / Belgium / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm / United States / Animals
by bri_sci94 / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 9:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at… Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck… Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours…