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uzee

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 9:53pm) | Search for a member

uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8720
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am

uzee's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

#21377510
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13085) - you deserved it (43798)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by copycat - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (9252)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

#21373611
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:21am - work - by hard work doesn't work - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (2624)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (3719)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18176) - you deserved it (54567)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28219) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35677) - you deserved it (3401)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43188) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (36063)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (5539)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (5200)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28807) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (3747)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States



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