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Offline (the 09/26/2015 at 10:17pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11364
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>fmlcharlii</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am

uzee's FML badges

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (2336)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26749) - you deserved it (4714)

On 06/21/2015 at 8:50pm - misc - by ssondik - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML


I agree, your life sucks (25964) - you deserved it (8627)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm - misc - by jenpearl (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (3455)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35577) - you deserved it (1851)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by hobbled - United States

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (4028)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (7715)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (3521)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12939) - you deserved it (44236)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33599) - you deserved it (7592)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (4876)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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