About ttelracs : My name is Scarlett (Ttelracs backwards) and I am 100% not funny, so I do my best to not try to be but it can be hard to resist sometimes. I apologize in advance. Most of my input on here involves cynical comments, sarcasm, and rejected FML's. I am also very awkard.
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ttelracs's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
by Awkward / 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by thatguy / 10/28/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by snow / 09/22/2009 at 5:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
by sara / 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
by taman / 09/12/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML
by JK710 / 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML
by jackelking / 05/25/2009 at 4:33am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML
by boyo / 05/21/2009 at 5:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Money
by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by lifestinks / 04/05/2009 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML
by AGluckily / 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
- Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come… Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains.… Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was…