tjanes

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Offline (the 04/25/2016 at 3:20am)

tjanes

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3478
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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tjanes's page activity

Visits<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:17pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:48pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:39am<b>ugalde976</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:30am<b>Eleora</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Sierra120</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 11:12am<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:00am<b>totallylovet</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:11am<b>Nathion</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:00pm<b>Westside2156</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 8:02pm<b>hockeyy27</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:29am<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:22pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:47pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:48am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:08pm<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 7:34pm

Fucked!<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:17pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:56am

tjanes's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of tjanes's badges

tjanes's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

by divingconfidence / 12/22/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

by scaredinnyc / 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 3:54am / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States / Kids

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy