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snippit

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snippit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

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You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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snippit's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (4078) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (3575)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32543) - you deserved it (3123)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (8880)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14258) - you deserved it (50428)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (11034)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (1986)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (4445)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (6057)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (6057)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (6057)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (5005)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35838) - you deserved it (2715)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)



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