slimilicious

Search for a member

Offline (5 hours ago)

slimilicious

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 September 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 932
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About slimilicious : Just a bored eighteen year old, here to read about other people's shitty lives in order to make myself feel better about my own.

slimilicious's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Jake42100</b> - 11 hours ago<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 6:07pm<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 5:56pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 4:47pm<b>dieana</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 5:39pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:27pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 10:50pm<b>spiderwebb888</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:44pm<b>PercyD1456</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 12:09am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:24am<b>dno79</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 12:01pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 7:06pm<b>gjuan93</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:05am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:10pm<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 6:05am<b>infernno</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:18pm

Fucked!<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:27pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 9:04pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 9:11pm<b>spiderwebb888</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:44am<b>frankmz</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:26am<b>dno79</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 6:02pm<b>gjuan93</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:05pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:01pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 6:29pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 5:53pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:12pm<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:03pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:20am<b>jensbae</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:06am<b>maaj</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:52pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:21am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:17am

slimilicious's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of slimilicious's badges

slimilicious's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

by fuckoffgran / 08/01/2013 at 10:46am / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

by i suck, this i know :( / 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm / Malawi (Blantyre) / Love

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 8:48am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

by nerdgirlmickey / 03/03/2013 at 11:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

by really mature, GRAN / 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work