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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 67
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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shadow0831's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML


I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (7916)

On 01/24/2014 at 2:16am - work - by Kenny (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45883) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (67275) - you deserved it (5029)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (9897)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

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