Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shabowbow

Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 7:49am) | Search for a member

shabowbow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4437
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shabowbow's page activity

Visits<b>windell</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:36pm<b>demi94</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:01am<b>D3MoN1cXM4n14C</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:40pm<b>CaiDog</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:20am<b>Gravenmuir</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:30pm<b>countrygirl2909</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 5:19pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 8:30am<b>ShadowGhost</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:23am<b>ashlyn_warren</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 12:21am<b>sadiegirl17</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:28am<b>CammyGal</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:35pm<b>monsterattack99</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 5:43pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:03pm<b>stephhunnyb</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:20am<b>jarobjent</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:13am<b>Azail</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Luraxoxo</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:49am<b>rivlis</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 6:19pm

shabowbow's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of shabowbow's badges

shabowbow's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (8265)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25975) - you deserved it (2736)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (2327)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (2313)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

#21408927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (10655)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:38pm - kids - by NotAPrincess - United States (California)

Today, my mother asked me how pasta is harvested. She actually thought it grew out of the ground. FML

#21408925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26296) - you deserved it (2151)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:37pm - misc - by a - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I found out the reason why my car has smelled so bad for the past two weeks. It turns out when my sister was bringing in groceries from my car she forgot to grab the raw chicken. FML

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31631) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2435)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31049) - you deserved it (4341)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: