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sasonzal's FML badges
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sasonzal's favorite FMLs
by Bnewlove / 07/31/2013 at 12:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by unfortunateMother / 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids
by Iguana / 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
by ledentist / 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by Scholar / 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation
Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML
by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy
Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML
by BirthdayFail / 08/14/2012 at 3:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML
by Chamorru / 08/11/2012 at 1:53pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Money
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
by shira512 / 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
by daddydaughterWTF / 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Money
by Sherry / 07/11/2012 at 9:29am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
- Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was… Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone,… Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML