sasonzal

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sasonzal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3133
  • Number of comments : 153
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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sasonzal's page activity

Visits<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Skarlun</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:00am<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:41am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:25am<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:15am<b>blairwaldorfbass</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:27am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:45am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:29pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:26pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:02pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:21am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:45am<b>daboonki</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:47pm

sasonzal's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of sasonzal's badges

sasonzal's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

by Bnewlove / 07/31/2013 at 12:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

by unfortunateMother / 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

by Iguana / 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

by ledentist / 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

by Scholar / 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML

by BirthdayFail / 08/14/2012 at 3:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

by shira512 / 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

by daddydaughterWTF / 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Money

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

by Sherry / 07/11/2012 at 9:29am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy