purple_gnurple

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purple_gnurple

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 955
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About purple_gnurple : I thoroughly enjoy the occasional cookie.

purple_gnurple's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 5:28am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:53pm<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:29am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:14am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:36am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:49pm<b>bps315</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:23pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:30pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:13pm<b>martini47</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:18am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:26pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:20pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Sierra7211</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:53am<b>lannisters</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:54am

purple_gnurple's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of purple_gnurple's badges

purple_gnurple's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

by SorryUncleTommy / 10/01/2012 at 12:23am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

by Hello Nurse / 09/24/2012 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

by UnknownOperation / 09/04/2012 at 9:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML