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poetrywriter12's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
poetrywriter12's favorite FMLs
Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML
by jhughes1997 / 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
by Annieisnotokay / 04/17/2013 at 6:20am / United Kingdom / Health
by lp525252 / 03/20/2013 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
by mcds2 / 03/18/2013 at 4:28am / United States / Love
by OptimusVader / 03/13/2013 at 9:36am / United States / Intimacy
by dangerZone / 02/27/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
by Bug5992 / 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
by Single / 12/04/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Love
by VedaLynn / 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…