phoneYuNOlisten

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phoneYuNOlisten

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 672
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About phoneYuNOlisten : Am I that important to you?

phoneYuNOlisten's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:55pm<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:19pm<b>RandomPersonOk</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:52pm<b>chudun</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:23am<b>nrevogcmamme</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:21pm<b>bandeek</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:32am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:55am<b>melleicandy</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 10:33am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 11:36pm<b>pikachulove14</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 11:15pm<b>addioty</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:48pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 3:23pm<b>blueeyedann</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 7:37am<b>Buzzy123</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 6:29pm<b>savageeeee</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:26am<b>skylight0419</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:03am<b>texasgirl021</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:04am

phoneYuNOlisten's FML badges

50 quality responses

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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phoneYuNOlisten's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

by unfortunate / 06/30/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

by evilmuffinlord / 06/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

by Anon / 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

by MsGlaDos / 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 10:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

by Are you f*cking kidding me / 06/12/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm / United States / Kids