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ohmyash's favorite FMLs
by FutureMarine3658 / 08/08/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML
by SomeDJ / 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
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- Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room,… Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning… Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with…
- Today, i attempted to break up with my girlfriend. First she accused me of cheating, then said shed… Today, my boyfriend and I took our dog on a generous walk. When we got back he said he had lost his… Today, I bought my very first new car. I thought I was being pretty clever using the reverse camera…