neonberries

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Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 9:31am)

neonberries

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2938
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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neonberries's page activity

Visits<b>elbrowntown21</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:12pm<b>CinemaFreak</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:47am<b>Insanityconfined</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 4:53am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 4:46am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:40pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:36pm<b>endlessoptions78</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:37pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:30pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:15am<b>awkwardlysmiles</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 12:22am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:50pm<b>sara_rose7</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:40pm<b>AestheticGuy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:34pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:23pm<b>tacocatishere</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:59pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:57pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:25pm

neonberries's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of neonberries's badges

neonberries's favorite FMLs

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

by Bartender / 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

by Bad Dad / 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

by vivelawank / 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

by -.- / 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

by noway / 01/03/2014 at 6:03am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Kids

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

by SabriLittleRed / 01/01/2014 at 1:18pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 2:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I am just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

by unemployed and bereaved / 11/25/2013 at 12:03am / United Kingdom / Work