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missmandersxoxo's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML
by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work
by shylahrc / 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude / 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML
by toilet_trouble / 04/19/2014 at 3:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids
by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm / Canada / Health
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by pantyripper / 03/24/2014 at 8:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own… Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man… Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded,…