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Offline (the 12/10/2014 at 6:28am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7409
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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missmandersxoxo's page activity

Visits<b>Angel14494</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:00am<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:33pm<b>not_cool808</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:25pm<b>Murilirum</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:51pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:19pm<b>frogletts</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:09am<b>gavdarv</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:58pm<b>maj3st1cllama</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 6:53pm<b>JmZ</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:47pm<b>Pakistanismurf</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 11:39pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:44pm<b>underthesea12</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:52am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm<b>uniformed</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:29pm<b>edvin</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:14pm<b>Lizzie832</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Grandmastasexy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:34pm

Fucked!<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:20pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:46am

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missmandersxoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

by kids say the darnedest things / 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

by familyhatesme / 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2014 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

by happypineapple / 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

by morgan_rumm / 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

by HeartToFart / 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

by Jack00412 / 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals