About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, Harry Potter, Pokémon, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.
melody309's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
melody309's favorite FMLs
by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
by JoseIsAdork / 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to explain to my friend that a blue raspberry is not a blackberry, and that blue raspberry is an artificial flavor, not a fruit. This explanation took much longer than it should have. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 11:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML
by embarrassed / 01/04/2016 at 12:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2016 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
by bob the builders pissed off daughter / 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML
by Deweyboy / 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm / United States / Work
by MiceMiles / 12/10/2015 at 7:34am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by PerturbedStudent / 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by CalebLawrence / 10/22/2015 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by shavednipples / 10/11/2015 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Health
by kissandcontrol01 / 10/10/2015 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend and I were making love and as I was reaching my climax, I push her off and she… Today, my college friend of about 8 months went without me to an event she had asked me to go with… Today I went to the supermarket. Normal right? Nope. I saw a guy kissing a girl this wouldn't be a…