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melody309

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melody309

6Liked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3239
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>Soninuva</b> - 13 hours ago<b>AlyssaDiannaa</b> - yesterday at 6:18am<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:41am<b>mellajella</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:30pm<b>baldiesmom</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:00am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:57pm<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:51am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:13am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:18pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:15am<b>Aky0n</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Jewish_lesbian</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:52pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:27am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 12:01pm<b>SyLord</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:33am<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am

Liked!<b>Soninuva</b> - 7 hours ago<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

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You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I ave no idea were e eard tis. FML

#21382327
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (2963)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I was doing homework an I had mah leg bent in a funny position . When I stood up, mah hip dislocated . It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced . When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated mah hip doing calculus . FML

#21381072
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (2761)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid looool in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after telling audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid looool in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today my mats class and I ad to sit troug a slidesow of potos of our teacer's cat!! Te cat's name is Mr Cat!! fat FML

#21376941
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48) - you deserved it (15)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, te pone rang wile I was on te toilet. I asked 3-year-old daugter to answer it, only for er to loudly say, ( Mommy's on te toilet pooping. ) FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (7801)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, TE NEIGBORS CALLD TE COPS BECAUSE TEY EARD ( GUN SOTS ). MY GIRLFRIEND AN I WERE POPPING BUBBLE WRAP. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, I am looool still finding glitter in mah ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezd. I managd to honk the horn an the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (4520)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

today my usband again lost is keys!! It's a daily struggle to fine tem!! Tis time tey were in an ice cube, literally!! He said e must ave accidentally puttd tem in tere wen making ice!! He's going to be te fater of my future cildren!! FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (7946)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to putted in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, calld my parents, and askd them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (35615)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked mah dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for bieng picked up each day by a guy whose face looks lyk Bigfoot's ass . He agreed, and 10 minute later was sporting a pedo-stache . It's going to be a long year . FML

#21354177
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (9743)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

TODAY, I WAS IN CHARGE OF TAKING A DELIVERY OF NEW OFFICE CHAIRS 4 THE MEETING ROOM AT WORK . THE DELIVERY MEN TOOK THE OLD CHAIRS, BUT LEFT WITHOUT DELIVERING THE NEW ONES . I CAN'T GET IN CONTACT WITH THEM, AN WE HAVE A BIG MEETING FIRST THING TOMORROW . FML

TODAY, A BOOKLET CAME IN TE MAIL, ADDRESSD TO ME AN TITLD "HOW TO TRAIN YOUR WIFE". I DIDN'T ORDER IT BUT MY WIFE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME. FML



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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