About melaniexoxob : Because im happpppy!
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melaniexoxob's favorite FMLs
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm / Egypt / Intimacy
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals
by chaoticcupcake / 06/25/2013 at 11:28am / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 12:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
by pixkalexi / 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by emchocolat / 12/16/2012 at 11:55am / Europe / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 12:18am / United States / Love
- Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not… Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it… Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during…
- Today, my driving instructor was over 30 minutes late and when I texted him to ask where he was he… Today, I stayed out late to celebrate my last night before going back to school. Though I normally… Today, I'm sick. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't leaving for college in three days, and…