Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (12 minutes ago) | Search for a member
About lilpsyco : There is a strong possibility my name is Liam.
I try to not judge anyone by appearance, sexual preferences, or past mistakes.
My favorite bands are:
Avenge Sevenfold, Disturbed, Five Finger Death Punch, Bullet for My Valentine, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Sour, Black Veil Brides, August Burns Red, Asking Alexandria, My Chemical Romance, We As Human, and Slipknot
PujwI' HIvlu'chugh quvbe'lu'.
Not to be rude, but if you actually have the time or desire to read the entirety of this then you may need to reevaluate your priorities.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
Monday 23 February 2015