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lexrawrzums

Offline (the 04/12/2015 at 2:51pm) | Search for a member

lexrawrzums

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 208
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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lexrawrzums's page activity

Visits<b>insulinshot</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:01pm<b>ToastedSyrup</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:29pm

lexrawrzums's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of lexrawrzums's badges

lexrawrzums's favorite FMLs

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (8316)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (3597)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30975) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35841) - you deserved it (3666)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (11648)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41140) - you deserved it (3974)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (9526)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43739) - you deserved it (16628)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44548) - you deserved it (4597)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (3331)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (3560)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37706) - you deserved it (17384)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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