Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kevdg

Search for a member

kevdg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 923
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kevdg's last visitors

DaddyBear022

kevdg's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of kevdg's badges

kevdg's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (5720)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (9142)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70733) - you deserved it (3924)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23383) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

#13094765
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26600) - you deserved it (2296)

On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6678) - you deserved it (28489)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (7156)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (4202)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (6602)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

#12266634
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38825) - you deserved it (4537)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:55pm - love - by hAHAha Halo (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (26790)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (14725)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

#12141202
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by mauimango7 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: