justmyswag

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justmyswag

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 June 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About justmyswag : I like to laugh, play sports, and hang out with my boys. FML sometimes gives me that little push to make it through a long school day.

justmyswag's page activity

Visits<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 6:43pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:37am<b>xAmybbx</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:50am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:17am<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:36pm<b>miztigers53</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:04pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:29pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:42pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 4:06pm<b>Lish2014</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:41am<b>AwkwardPartyBear</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:05pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:59pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:38pm<b>prettytreekitty</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:03am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 7:46pm<b>bwelchy819</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:31pm<b>Slex</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:41pm

justmyswag's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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justmyswag's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

by (._. ) / 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

by oops / 05/08/2013 at 10:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 9:45am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

by tamponface / 07/30/2011 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

by ohjoy / 11/18/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous