Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jubejube239

Online | Search for a member

jubejube239

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2092
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jubejube239 : Go follow me on tumblr

elegantdoge.tumblr.com

I post anime, along with random funny things :)

jubejube239's page activity

Visits<b>Myo</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:31pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:45pm<b>vicksblue</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:14pm<b>Advancedai</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:40pm<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:55am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:32am<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:22pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:29pm<b>FOLT</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 10:18am<b>mynameisshaye</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:27am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:20am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:33pm<b>dgameseeker</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:34pm<b>sayakabeats</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:21am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:38pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:28pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:28pm<b>mackeyxtravis</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:28pm

Fucked!<b>cmchappy</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:33am

jubejube239's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of jubejube239's badges

jubejube239's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (10862)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51326) - you deserved it (11132)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44370) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54583) - you deserved it (3416)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59507) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49038) - you deserved it (4340)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (28047)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (54148)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68545) - you deserved it (4015)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52823) - you deserved it (3469)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

#20766730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48671) - you deserved it (6435)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68283) - you deserved it (4357)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: