Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hannahisthewin

Search for a member

hannahisthewin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4460
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hannahisthewin's page activity

Visits<b>BeepBeepSwerve</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:44pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:22am<b>Hazamachi</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 7:00am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:25pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:47am<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 4:24am<b>Rhendrick69</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:51am<b>jello22</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:26am<b>erynys</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 6:38pm<b>RainbowInput</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 8:07am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 1:13am<b>Oxidation</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 11:38pm<b>justmyluck79</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:23pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:21pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:07pm<b>thewhitelover3</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:02pm

hannahisthewin's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of hannahisthewin's badges

hannahisthewin's favorite FMLs

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (48471)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81730) - you deserved it (4069)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (48779)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (48469)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55044) - you deserved it (22298)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53411) - you deserved it (4995)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50292) - you deserved it (20181)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47961) - you deserved it (5148)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55626) - you deserved it (4749)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55059) - you deserved it (5227)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46056) - you deserved it (7618)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72329) - you deserved it (8478)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48236) - you deserved it (6704)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49175) - you deserved it (4242)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20028) - you deserved it (62508)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: