hannahisthewin

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hannahisthewin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5044
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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hannahisthewin's page activity

Visits<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 5:01pm<b>BeepBeepSwerve</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:44pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:22am<b>Hazamachi</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 7:00am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 7:25pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:47am<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 4:24am<b>Rhendrick69</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:51am<b>jello22</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:26am<b>erynys</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 6:38pm<b>RainbowInput</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 8:07am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 1:13am<b>Oxidation</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 11:38pm<b>justmyluck79</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:23pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:21pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:07pm<b>thewhitelover3</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:02pm

hannahisthewin's FML badges

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hannahisthewin's favorite FMLs

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

by RickTheBoy / 07/10/2013 at 8:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

by embarrassed niece / 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Love

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

by StockedWithJuice / 07/06/2013 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

by he's a dawk, and a cunt / 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Work