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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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goldenturtlez's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML
by hmmm / 10/01/2013 at 8:32am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love
by whatdoesitmatter / 10/01/2013 at 6:47am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
by Are you kidding me? / 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by Anonyme / 09/06/2013 at 7:56am / France (Basse-Normandie) / Kids
by single again / 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML
by IGOTIT / 09/05/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by cookiemonster / 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous