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farleytb42

Offline (the 05/25/2015 at 3:56pm) | Search for a member

farleytb42

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 367
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About farleytb42 : Hey guys! I'm some french-canadian guy who loves hockey (stereotypes), martial arts, fml and making jokes. I'm a lifeguard and i'm studying to become a cop. If you guys want to know me better just message me

farleytb42's page activity

Visits<b>ellie_215</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:42am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:01am<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:53pm<b>noahg45</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:30am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:54am<b>me127</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:56am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:32pm<b>juliapereth</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:31am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:07am<b>elmassapilo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:23am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>James64138</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:35pm<b>ifoundwaldo123</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:14pm<b>leahb99</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:27pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:51pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:02pm

Fucked!<b>noahg45</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:31pm<b>alexissblakee</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:03am

farleytb42's FML badges

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You've liked someone. How cute!

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Perfectionist

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farleytb42's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31198) - you deserved it (2499)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (16799)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (12405)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35728) - you deserved it (3746)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (9618)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52598) - you deserved it (6869)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34049) - you deserved it (22637)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (5204) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (53727)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46889) - you deserved it (11622)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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