About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.
eggmarie's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
eggmarie's favorite FMLs
by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy
by maruskasommers / 01/09/2012 at 4:39am / Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Sally / 12/26/2011 at 6:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Great... / 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
by whatadisappointmnet / 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…