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Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 10:16pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7039
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About efettes : Umm well I really don't know what to say... I've been a fan of the site forever and finally got an account :) message me and I will get back to you as soon as I see it :) (which may or may not be a couple days or even a week or two...)

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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efettes's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49533) - you deserved it (7638)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (52772) - you deserved it (4995)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49823) - you deserved it (5513)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63337) - you deserved it (19818)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55611) - you deserved it (5778)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML


I agree, your life sucks (52941) - you deserved it (8607)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38973) - you deserved it (2239)

On 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Lulu - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41528) - you deserved it (23116)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I covered a 10-hour shift for a sick coworker. Glad to earn some extra money for the holidays, I went to clock out. I hadn't even clocked in when I first got there at 7 am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42078) - you deserved it (15742)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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