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efettes

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 10:16pm) | Search for a member

efettes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6350
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About efettes : Umm well I really don't know what to say... I've been a fan of the site forever and finally got an account :) message me and I will get back to you as soon as I see it :) (which may or may not be a couple days or even a week or two...)

efettes's page activity

Visits<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Keaves41</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:30pm<b>sweetgirl89</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:36pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:48pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:59pm<b>saturday00</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Shalinar</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:22pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:29am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:46pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:21pm<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:32am<b>tsent8</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:27pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:23am<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:11am<b>y007346</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:39am<b>PhoenixRiver</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:51pm<b>T_Myles13</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:08pm

efettes's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of efettes's badges

efettes's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (7421)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52221) - you deserved it (4943)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48930) - you deserved it (5411)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62728) - you deserved it (19633)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51337) - you deserved it (5343)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52141) - you deserved it (8514)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

#20981967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36839) - you deserved it (2074)

On 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Lulu - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40906) - you deserved it (22758)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I covered a 10-hour shift for a sick coworker. Glad to earn some extra money for the holidays, I went to clock out. I hadn't even clocked in when I first got there at 7 am. FML

#20979925
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (15606)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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