dav3800

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dav3800

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11735
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dav3800's page activity

Visits<b>alwayscomplain</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 1:39am<b>Grazelent_90</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:07am<b>junjunbun</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:39am<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 2:59am<b>kayposion</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:08am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Cavenyanson</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:25am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:50am<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:33pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:20am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:37pm<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:12pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:27am<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:57pm

Fucked!<b>junjunbun</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:39pm

dav3800's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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dav3800's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 2:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

by anon / 02/16/2014 at 7:56am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Money

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

by accident / 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

by fuck you right back, cockspit / 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

by AshleyRose24 / 11/23/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

by quit fucking up my life / 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids