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daniellekimberly's favorite FMLs
by DumbassRoaster / 07/10/2016 at 3:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Mcwifi / 04/21/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
by Wolf6661 / 03/14/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML
by ChaoticGamer / 12/23/2015 at 10:15am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML
by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by sstahpp / 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
by dirtbikeguy / 07/23/2015 at 9:05am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Jack Shart Jr. / 07/08/2015 at 11:16am / United States / Health
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health
Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML
by nerderer / 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
- Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.… Today, I was at a restaurant (which is 1 hour away from home) with my family eating dinner. I went… Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant…