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daniellekimberly's favorite FMLs
by DumbassRoaster / 07/10/2016 at 3:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Mcwifi / 04/21/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
by Wolf6661 / 03/14/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML
by ChaoticGamer / 12/23/2015 at 10:15am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML
by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by sstahpp / 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
by dirtbikeguy / 07/23/2015 at 9:05am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Jack Shart Jr. / 07/08/2015 at 11:16am / United States / Health
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML
by ej6901 / 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health
- Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack.… Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I… Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of…