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dalenick's favorite FMLs
by Rachel8896 / 08/15/2013 at 7:28am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm / Egypt / Intimacy
by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm / Portugal / Intimacy
by tigger2013 / 08/03/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML
by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy
by countryblumpkin / 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by confused_girl / 08/01/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by nela25 / 07/30/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by JustSomeGuy / 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…