About cowtastic3333 : Hi I'm Grace, and I like being weird. Sometimes my name is Judo Ferret, but don't worry because that's only when I turn into a puppet and I'm overtaken by the monkey sprites. So only twice a day.
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cowtastic3333's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Love
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by opinionsarestill / 12/20/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
by bf / 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Well this Is Awkward / 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
by NRFTW / 12/17/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by carboncoach / 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 3:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 3:25am / United States / Kids
Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML
by icy_in_indiana / 12/10/2013 at 10:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
- Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in… Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill… Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my…