Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

courtz94

Online | Search for a member

courtz94

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1670
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

courtz94's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - yesterday at 10:48pm<b>annarcheer</b> - yesterday at 8:19pm<b>black_day</b> - yesterday at 4:54pm<b>sb4331</b> - yesterday at 1:43pm<b>backdraft4</b> - yesterday at 11:28am<b>Skoduss</b> - yesterday at 7:33am<b>robertd73</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:23am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:11pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:56pm<b>casey_bishhh</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:24pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:26pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:00pm<b>CoolFootSnook</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:53pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 6:55am<b>Garktok</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 3:27am<b>mete_orito</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 8:03pm<b>gunnerette</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:39pm

Liked!<b>Railworker12</b> - yesterday at 4:11am<b>robertd73</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:00am

courtz94's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of courtz94's badges

courtz94's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (44594)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (55426)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43177) - you deserved it (7349)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

#20819891
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (6366)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (7725)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55180) - you deserved it (4254)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (3692)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48696) - you deserved it (3771)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48373) - you deserved it (7959)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52730) - you deserved it (8987)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (2154)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

#20114767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (2258)

On 10/13/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by pinkfreak94 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33668) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: