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courtz94's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/10/2015 at 3:19am / Sri Lanka (Western) / Love
Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML
by MerryDeathmas / 07/18/2015 at 12:31am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation
by poop / 03/21/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by scared / 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by nottheuglyfriend / 03/07/2015 at 6:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2015 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML
by neverforgetyourphone / 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML
by Bishy123 / 03/26/2014 at 3:50am / United States (Washington) / Love
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
by kimm1993 / 08/03/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
by poopiter / 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML
by Anonycunt / 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…