charvisioku

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charvisioku

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6564
  • Number of comments : 766
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About charvisioku : Never thought I'd have "favourite commenters" on a site but... well, here they are:

DocBastard - dry humour's always a win in my book... I always picture him as being like House in real life.

sens3sfail - just always makes me chuckle

Pleonasm - king of puns

charvisioku's page activity

Visits<b>Benmantha</b> - 23 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 12:26am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 2:51pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:15pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:12am<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 5:27am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:10am<b>ShockBlast8879</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 8:50pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:33pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 4:43pm<b>bkmr</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:47am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:53pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:17am<b>britbear0731</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:47am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:10pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:59am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:28am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 8:10am<b>Sizly</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:00pm<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 4:12am<b>xyris</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:09pm<b>ram7979</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 1:05pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:31pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:33pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:51am<b>BL3SStheFALL3N</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:27am

charvisioku's FML badges

YDI master

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charvisioku's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 2:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm / United States / Kids

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

by Roses are Red / 03/07/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

by ghgfd / 03/06/2013 at 9:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

by UnluckyInk / 02/18/2013 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous