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bmba94's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
bmba94's favorite FMLs
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML
by kevinfmls / 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by 73012211 / 01/15/2016 at 3:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML
by parasheeeet / 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML
by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd / 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek
by anon / 01/11/2016 at 12:21pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML
by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by retail can shart a cock / 01/09/2016 at 12:25am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 11:01pm / Argentina (Buenos Aires) / Miscellaneous
by potatoking24 / 01/07/2016 at 10:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…