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bitofice

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bitofice

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bitofice's favorite FMLs

Today, nothing said Christma quite like mah dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christma treehile holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happenedhen he woke up later. FML

#21005822
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36161) - you deserved it (2703)

On 12/26/2013 at 1:48am - misc - by thanks_world - United States (Washington)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yastarday I got in a haatad fight an andad up baing punchad in tha jaw . Tha fight was about Harry Pottar . FML

#20856159
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34461) - you deserved it (19158)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I came home to find mah eight-year-old son had basically set looool fre to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV calld "fre bending." FML

#20083631
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (9114)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

today I droppd a whole batch of penis-shapd cookies on the floor . Then I thought, ( 5-second rule ) and startd eating them . And then I realizd that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor . FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (12567)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a usd condom. FML

#20080363
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18171) - you deserved it (26669)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I was called into mah 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that your supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking 4 cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was cell phone's. real FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7645) - you deserved it (31196)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (1609)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Taday I looool found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. fat FML

#20077908
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (3563)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Yesterday... my mom turned off all internet access in our house cuz she thought I spent too much time on the computer. She later asked me why she couldn't get on Facebook. FML

TODAY, MY NITWIT SON INFECTD OUR FAMILY COMPUTER WIT SOME SORT OF MAD BASTARD VIRUS AFTER GETTING FOOLD BY TE PROMISE OF SOME NON-EXISTENT HANNA MONTANA NUDES. FML

#20076697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today , I went to get mah nails done fir the frst time in a while. I don't like to go that much cuz two of mah toes r connected , an I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting mah looool toes started laughing when he saw them an called all the other employees over to look. FML

#20075771
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27781) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States

TODAY , I SAW A SMALL BUG ON TE WALL , SO I DECIDED TO SEND IT STRAIGT TO TE INSECT AFTERLIFE BY SMASING IT WIT A BOOK. TE BOOK CRUSED IT , AN CAUSED MA CLOCK TO COME FREE FROM TE WALL AN CRAS DOWN ONTO MA TV. FML

#20075179
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11113) - you deserved it (23415) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

I WAS SHOPPING WITH MAH BOYFRIEND, WHEN HE SUGGESTED THAT I MIGHT WANT TO BUY A NEW LOOFAH. WHEN I ASKED WHY, HE ADMITTED HE'S BEEN USING IT TO SCRUB HIS ASS CRACK 4 WEEKS. I USE THAT LOOFAH TO WASH MAH FACE. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (2369)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)



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